Nut House Insider: Lindsay Lohan is a Reptoid

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut, that held its ground.--David Icke

Dec. 9, 2011--A reptoid dissident surreptitiously photographed Lindsay Lohan at a conclave in a secret lizard city miles below Los Angeles on Tuesday, proving conclusively that Lohn is not human. Reptoid dissidents seek to overthrow the current reptoid dictator Trixikocolox, who has been romantically linked to Lohan.

Lindsay Lohan in Zeugari Swimwear

Dissidents report that Lohan, flashing her trademark green-toothed reptoid smile, joked about her nude photo on the cover of Playboy. "They Photoshopped my scales beautifully. They made me look sexy, and I'm not even a mammal."
The conclave concluded with a banquet in the Slither Room of the underground palace of Trixikocolox.  Invitation-only guests enjoyed a sumptuous meal of missing pets served by the Brotherhood of the Red Dress, a secret organization of reptilian software people revealed by alleged mammal David Icke in a recent book.

The Brotherhood of the Red Dress

Breast jokes abounded as reptoid comedians in attendance vied to poke fun at mammary-bearing humans. "Lindsay," quipped the comedian whose real name is Dave Letteropterix, "is the only actress in Hollywood who wears her silicone on the outside.


When Lohan replied to Letteropterix, a disgusted hush fell over the gathering.  She made a serious faux pas.  The squamate starlet said, "He's just jealous. He's bored with asexual reproduction and wants something strange."


According to the dissident, the ever dour Trixikocolox broke the silence. "Lindsomonox Lohox loves mammals herself--as a snack, " he remarked as he tossed a roasted kitten to the couple's beloved pet teenage human Justin.

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Thanks to Cryptohunter who posted his reptoid artwork to Wikipedia with Gnu Free Documentation and Creative Commons licenses, to Christopher Macsurak who posted a photo of Lindsay Lohan to Flickr with a Creative Commons license, to artist Neil Hague for the "Brotherhood of the Red Dress" posted to Wikipedia with a Creative Commons license, and to AnimalPlaneTV for posting the video to YouTube.    My use of these works in no way suggests that their creators endorse me or my work.


One can't write a Triond article without mentioning Triond. I wrote this article for Purple Slinky. I wonder where they'll put this article? In Socyberty because I mention Lindsay Lohan? In Sportales because I mention David Icke? In Notecook because I mention roasted kitten?


And the answer is--


On Dec. 9, 2011, Triond published this piece on its Socyberty web site, but I got it moved to Purple Slinky (http://purpleslinky.com/humor/nut-house-insider-lindsay-lohan-is-a-reptoid/).


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